


Goodbye

by happilyeverafter87



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Goodbyes, Memories, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8281474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happilyeverafter87/pseuds/happilyeverafter87
Summary: I wrote this in a bout of depression. I'm not sure if this story is any good but it helped me. Sadness and angst blanket this fic. Take a read and see. Feel free to let me know what you think. This story is a fic between Heero and my OC...not much more I can say.





	

Silence was so thick in the large office it could have been cut with a plastic butter knife. The officer stood her ground firmly before her superior officer. The elder woman sat back in her chair, legs crossed tightly with a scowl on her face. She eyed the woman before her. After listening to her arguments and reasoning she found no fault in her logic to deny her request.

With a heavy exasperated sigh, she tossed her wire framed glasses onto the heap of folders that littered her desk. "You know what this means. If you take the assignment, the sacrifice, your career and personal life will -"

"Be at risk. Yes, ma'am. I've weighed my options very carefully." She stated firmly. In fact, she had been following the case along with her other current cases. She knew the level of danger associated with this mission, but something had to be done. They had lost two other agents already. One had been missing for over nine months now, while the other, Layna Byer, was being sent to preventer in pieces.

Une walked around her large oak desk to stand before her. "Very well, the next departure for colony cluster LX-9764 leaves at 0500. I suggest you take this time to set your affairs in order." She told the young woman honestly. It was a sobering time for the commander-in-chief. Watching as the young woman had started in the linguistics division, moved to working with the top task force, had gone undercover and passed her evaluation to become a full-fledged field agent. A damn good one at that.

She nodded and reached into the inner pocket of her Kevlar jacket. She pulled five pristine, white envelopes out and held them for a moment. Her eyes closed and she silently whispered a prayer to go along with them.

"Might I make one unofficial request?" She kept her eyes shut not trusting herself to look up just yet.

Une sighed silently. "Of course." Her voice was soft, more gentle. This was the Lady not the Colonel.

She held out her letters. "Can you see that these make it to the correct people. When the time is right?" Her voice sounded so much stronger than she felt.

Une took them. She noted five familiar last names typed on each one. She couldn't know for certain but she had a good idea of what was inside. She wanted to tell the young agent that she would hold on to them for her and she could retrieve them when she returned but, the Preventer Commanding officer was a realist. There was a very real possibility this would be the last time they saw each other.

"I'll see that they get where they are going." She deposited the envelopes into the top drawer that required a bio metric scan of her thumb to gain entrance.

"Thank you." Her voice cracked. Une looked to her and returned to stand in front of her.

Taking a moment to steady her own emotions the commander clicked her heals, straightened her posture and saluted her subordinate. "Godspeed Agent Summers."

She returned the salute with just as much respect. Turning on her heel she walked out of the office not looking back though she wanted to desperately. It felt like she was leaving a piece of herself behind in that office.

"Good luck." Une whispered as the doors closed.

Outside the office building she was numb. Looking back up at the eight story building that had only a handful of lights on she felt cold. She tried to memorize the building that she had called a second home for the last six years, it might be the last time she laid eyes on it. She loved the well-manicured lawns where she and Noin had taken lunches when they reported in from Mars, the gardens where she often retreated to clear her head, she had enjoyed the calming company of Trowa there a time or two when she felt her emotions running high. He had been there wordlessly to offer her something to tether herself too. He was great friend. She wished he was here now. He was on vacation/reprieve for the next few weeks. Taking time to visit his sister, Cathy, and the circus.

She shook her head before allowing her mind to take her down memory lane that she had no desire to travel. Instead she focused on the upcoming undercover mission. She needed to be clear headed. There was no room for mistakes. Any number of things could go wrong. She needed to focus.

The wind had picked up a bit. It was nearing the end of spring; the days were getting longer yet the nights were still quite cool. She pulled her uniform jacket closer about her and began walking. She had no real clear destination in mind. Just that she didn't want to be in her apartment alone.

****

Opening the oven door, Heero was hit with the aroma of baking lasagna. It was homemade by Hilde that she had given him a few weeks ago. It had been frozen and he thought that tonight would be the perfect night to serve it. Ten more minutes, he decided, sliding it back in he closed the door before turning up the soothing sounds of Frank Sinatra.

Checking his watch, he smirked. Right on time. He pulled a vintage pinot noir down from his wine rack and two glasses. Popping the cork easily he poured a bit into one of the glasses. Swirling the crimson liquid, letting it breathe. He went to pull the salad out of the fridge when his cell phone buzzed on the granite counter top.

"Yuy." He answered without looking.

"Hello Heero." The honeyed voice of the Vice Foreign Minister greeted with a weary sigh. "I just wanted to call and let you know I won't be able to make it for dinner tonight."

He stopped what he was doing before returning the salad to the fridge.

She rubbed a hand over her face and blew out a long breath. "I'm really sorry Heero."

He knew it couldn't be helped. Their jobs were unpredictable at best and sometimes personal sacrifices had to be made. This, regrettably, had been the sixth rescheduled date this month. It was irritating. He leaned heavily on the island and picked up his wine glass.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." He took a large swallow of his wine. The familiar burn and warmth was little comfort to him. He had just wanted to spend time with her. It had been her idea to do date night once a week. Often he found himself resenting her job. It had been so much easier with Fai- He stopped and shook his head.

"I'll make it up to you." She offered. He heard someone call to her and she replied softly. "We're reconvening. Sorry Heero. I'll talk to you later." She hung up not even waiting for a reply. He stared at his phone for a moment before tossing it onto the counter. Snatching up the stereo controller he silenced Frank as well.

"Whatever." He spoke into his wine glass, consuming the rest and pouring another. The oven timer sounded and he glared. He punched the off button, silencing the noise before none to carefully extracting the dish, leaving it to sit and cool on the top burners.

In truth he wasn't even hungry. He just wanted to…. he didn't precisely know but something had been nagging at the back of his mind all day. He couldn't seem to focus and couldn't sit still. He felt as if his skin was the only thing keeping him from going in all directions at once. Even Wufei had noticed his lack of concentration when they were  
running the new recruits through the course.

Cracking his neck, he generously refilled his glass and sat at the counter. His laptop was waiting, as always for him to finish some bit of work or research a new lead. He logged on and began to type away the night as he had always done, letting himself lose track of time.

A timid knock, sometime later, pulled him from his focus. Almost an hour had gone by already. His glass was once again empty and he felt much more stress-free. Glancing at his watch, it was just after 10:30. Who was knocking on his door at this hour. Grabbing his gun as a precaution he headed to his front door. Peeking through the window beside the heavy oak door he saw the familiar preventer jacket. Who on earth?

He opened the door, tucking the gun in the small of his back with the safety firmly in place he opened the door and found a soaking wet, 5'3" brunette female agent on his porch. She was pale, her eyes unfocused and her form quivering.

"Faith? What are you doing here?" He asked looking to see where her car was. He saw nothing.

No response. Her eyes were red, unfocused, water traveled down her face and dripped from her clothes.

He grasped her arm to pull her out from her stupor. "Hey, Faith?"

She looked at him, her eyes focusing. She blinked some as if she were just now realizing where she was. "Heero?" Her voice trembled with her shiver.

"What are you doing out in the rain?" He wanted to chuckle and tease her but her reaction and the whole situation left him a bit on edge. "Come on in." He stepped back offering her entrance to his home.

She stood there and looked at him. Really looked at him. He thought she was trying to map out his face, or peer into his soul. It was very peculiar. "Faith are you -"

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I shouldn't be here. I don't even know why I'm here. I was walking and I…." She trailed off. "Sorry. I'll let you get back to-" She turned.

It was his turn to cut her off. Grabbing her coat, he stalled her. "Hey come on." He pulled her inside the house with little resistance. Once inside she shivered harder as the warmth of his home hit her freezing wet exterior.

"I'll get you a towel and a change of clothes. Stay here." He headed upstairs to retrieve said items.

She inhaled shakily, a thousand memories rushed her at once. Memories she thought she had locked away. The scent of his house, gun oil and dark spices, a scent that was truly Heero. His home remained the same, the couch facing the fireplace, above the mantle was a decent sized tv though it was hardly ever used. From what she could see the kitchen was the same as well, ever immaculate and put together, the walls were built in bookshelves and they were packed so tightly with books it was a wonder they didn't collapse. She tried to commit everything to memory.

"Here." He watched her jump. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." He amended. Concern and worry seeped into his core as he watched her.

She made no reply.

"Take off your jacket. I'll hang it up to dry." He waited. She didn't move. She just stared at him.

Peculiar. "Hey, your puddling on my floor." He teased.

Slowly she removed the heavy wet Kevlar. He unfolded the towel and swung it over her shoulders. "You can take your clothes off. I'll put them in the dryer for you. These will be big but…. you'll be warm." He indicated the soft grey long sleeved Preventer shirt and running pants.

"Where's Relena?" She asked. The first, coherent, words she spoke.

He stopped. "Working." His reply was short and tight. "What were you doing out there in the rain?" He hung up the jacket near the heater. "Your car didn't break down again?" He looked at her. When they had been together he had fixed her car a few times. He had always tried to talk her into getting rid of the 'hunk of junk' and get something reliable, but she was attached to the heap.

She shook her head no.

Being ever the gentleman, he turned his back, busying himself with something as she took off her sopping clothes. Letting them fall in a sopping heap next to her she removed everything. Running the towel over herself before slipping into Heero's spare clothes.

"Done." She stated. He turned and looked her over head to foot. He couldn't help but feel his heart palpitate. She was stunning. Her hair was beginning to curl naturally in soft waves, her face was flushed and she was swimming in his clothes but she was beautiful. He had remembered so many times coming home to find her in nothing but his t shirt or in his basketball shorts preferring the loose baggy fit to anything form fitting. That, however, was a long time ago.

With a silent sigh he picked her clothes up to take to the dryer. "Thank you." She spoke through chattering teeth.

Something was definitely off. "Go sit in the kitchen. I just shut the oven off a bit ago, it should still be warm." He waited for her to make a crack about him cooking but she simply walked into the adjoining room and cracked open the oven door warming her hands.

Returning to the kitchen he found her sitting across from his laptop staring blankly at the black granite. Clearing his throat to announce his presence he watched her look to him. Her reaction was quicker than before, her eyes more focused, maybe she had just been that cold. He knew the cold would make her more tired. They had often slept with the window open and fans going, most of the year. It was something he wished he continued but, Relena hated the cold.

"Hey, thanks for taking me in." She offered a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. "I guess I was just lost in my  
own head." She played off the situation. "Sorry for any trouble I caused you."

That sounded better. He shook his head. "No trouble. I was just working on a few things." He walked into the  
room. "Wine?" He offered holding the bottle above the empty glass.

She nodded.

"So, I haven't eaten yet and that's one of Hilde's lasagnas. Want to join me?" He offered. No sense in letting it go to waste.

"Did you cook it?"

"I heated it." He pulled down to plates.

"So you burned it?" She teased. There she was. He looked back at her a shy smile gracing her lips, not quite reaching her eyes.

"No I didn't burn it. I just heated it through. I've gotten a lot better with cooking since Relena's been here." He didn't mean for the words to come out so harshly. He regretted them as soon as they left his lips. Her eyes fell and she looked sad. "Sorry I - "

"It's okay." She lifted her eyes back to him. "I'm glad you guys are getting on so well." She said in earnest as  
he set a plate in front of her.

He sat across from her not sure what to say. Hearing his ex say she was happy he had moved on was a bit unsettling. Maybe she had had enough time, it didn't seem like that long since they had split. Only about eight months since they had split and only about three since he and Relena began to date. He reasoned that the history the former queen of the world and he had made it natural for them to get together.

"Thanks." Unsure if that was the correct response. "So are you going to tell me what you were doing out in the rain?" He questioned, watching her take a bite before he did so.

"I was walking. I…. was trying to clear my head. I guess my subconscious still likes it here." She smiled warmly.

"Clear you head of what?"

She shook her head pushing some hair off her shoulder. "Nothing important. You know. Stuff." She answered vaguely.

Eating in companionable silence was something that Heero missed. Relena was often answering text messages or emails on her phone throughout the meal, leaving Heero to speak often times not receiving an answer. It was nice just sitting with someone, enjoying the company. It felt like ages since he had been so comfortable.

After their meal she collected the dishes and put them in the sink. She turned on the water to do them when he stopped her, shutting off the tap. He invaded her sense. He was so close to her she could feel the heat radiating off his body.

"Leave them. I'll do them later." His voice was soft and his breath caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"Sorry. I guess it's still a habit." She smirked. "Can we sit and talk?"

"I thought we were." He smirked. He missed the easy banter that came between them. Relena wasn't one for teasing and any sarcastic remark made her upset or angry. He had learned to speak carefully.

She rolled her eyes and turned to grab her wine glass. He offered to refill hers but she declined. Filling his he followed her to the couch. Sitting on opposite ends putting their glasses on the coffee table.

The couch was an overstuffed dream to sit on. She curled her legs under her and leaned her arm along the back, her head resting in her palm as she looked at him.

He waited for her to speak.

"What do you think of the new recruit program?" She opened.

Work, that was what she wanted to talk about. He sighed. "It's okay. Wufei put a lot of effort into it. I think it could still use a few adjustments."

She smirked. "Don't let him hear that. I was with Une when he unveiled that piece of work. I've never seen a man so proud of a few revisions." She teased at their coworker's expense.

"He does put 100% into whatever he does. I'll give him that." He drank.

She agreed and followed. Silence fell over them. It wasn't as comfortable as when they were eating. It was as if the air was slowly being leaked out.

"Hey do you remember that time when we were at Duo's, uh, I think it was new year's?" She started wanting desperately to relieve the sense of dread she was feeling. "We went and saw that band…. down at the tavern. Do you remember? What was the name of that band?"

He thought back. "New year's? Uh…."

"Yeah, I think it was like two years ago. You probably don't remember. You were pretty far gone by the time we got there." She smiled.

He nodded. "That was a great night. Well, what I can remember." He thought. "I think it was something like Kings of Carnage or something. I remember you," He mirrored her position only he put his feet on the coffee table. "You were wearing that little dark green dress. I almost didn't let you out of the house." He confessed with a grin.

She blushed. "Why?"

"Oh come on. That dress was so tight and so small, I was certain you were going to have a wardrobe malfunction." He smiled. "You looked beautiful."

She smiled. "Thank goodness for double sided sticky tape." She drank in salute.

"It feels like forever since I've been out like that? Really let lose you know."

She shrugged. "Not worth the hangover you had. Remember? It took you almost three days to fully recover."

"Yea but you were there beside me." He confessed.

She nodded and gave a tiny smile.

"Last time I had a hangover Relena was…. less than caring about my condition." The words seemed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Well, not everyone can handle you when you're whiny and clingy."

He tossed a pillow at her. "I'm not whiny."

"Oh, my head hurts, I think I'm going to die." She mocked. "Come here and lay by me I need someone to hold me."

"I don't sound like that." He defended.

"Sure you don't. I think I still have video somewhere." She smiled. "Or do you remember that time we were all at Quatre's and you thought it would be a great idea to skinny dip in the pool."

He laughed out loud as the memory resurfaced. "That was a great idea."

"Yeah, until the motion sensors went off and it woke the entire estate!" She laughed too. That night had been both mortifying and exhilarating. Once they made it back to their room they hadn't bothered with putting anything on, they came together as if their lives had depended on it. It was a memory they both enjoyed.

"I don't think Quatre has been able to look you in the eye since." He jabbed. "I honestly thought his eyes were going to fall out of his head. Until Dorothy put them back in."

She laughed so hard she had to put her wine glass down. "Did you know she propositioned me for Quatre's birthday?!"

Heero nearly choked on his wine. "What?!"

"Yeah, she called me a few weeks after and said that one of their fantasies, I guess, was another woman to join them. Apparently after what they had seen they thought I was a perfect fit for that position. No pun intended."

"Is that why you didn't want to go to the cook out that weekend?" He was putting pieces together. They had been looking forward to the get together but when it had come time to go she had wanted to stay. She had been very convincing, managing to keep him in bed until they had to leave for work Monday morning. They had made the excuse of sickness when they saw everyone.

Nodding she laughed again. "Yeah, talk about awkward." She sipped her wine. "I thought that was funny. I can't believe I didn't tell you."

"Well, I would have propositioned you too if I was in their place. I mean Jesus." He motioned to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah nothing says sexy like a large tee shirt and baggy running pants." She scoffed.

"You're still beautiful." He purred.

She tried to ignore the tingle that ran down her spine. When he used that voice it did things to her. She hadn't heard it in what felt like forever. It still affected her. She moved closer to him, still far enough away for decency sake.

She wanted to get a good look at him, wanted to remember him this way. His eyes were soft and shining with a happy light. It wasn't often the former 01 pilot let down his walls but over the years they had been together she had managed to dismantle it brick by brick. It was comforting to know he hadn't built it back up where she was  
concerned. His shaggy dark hair still messy and shaggy. She would wager in a few days he would need it trimmed. His tanned skin was lightly flushed from the effects of the wine.

"What?" His voice rumbled deeply in his chest.

She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. If she kept going like this she would end up doing something they would both regret. "Nothing. I just…. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just all…. discombobulated." She smirked finishing the small amount in her glass.

"Is something going on?" He sat up leaning his elbows on his knees. "You can still talk to me. Please, don't shut me out." He took her hands his gaze finding and holding hers. "You're trembling.". Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, which she was rapidly trying to blink away. Without thinking he pulled her into his embrace as he had done many times before. It was so natural and comfortable, one hand wrapped around her back while the other cradled the back of her head to his shoulder caressing her damp tresses. Kissing the top of her head out of habit he whispered soft words.

As much as she tried to fight it, tears fell down her cheeks and onto his shirt. Wrapped in his embrace was the only place she wanted to be. She needed this. 'Just for tonight' She told herself. After tonight it would be over. She let herself wrap her arms around his neck and pull herself even closer. "I'm sorry. I…. I'm so sorry." She murmured.

His concern for her spiked but no words would come. He only rubbed his hands up and down her back trying to sooth her. Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch he wrapped it snugly around her. He had no idea what she was sorry for and frankly he didn't care. She could have told him that she had murdered someone or was part of a terrorist organization and he would still hold her close to him. She fit against him so perfectly. He loved the feel of her in his arms. She was his grounding point. He had yet to feel that deep of a connection with Relena but he was sure it would happen.

A few calming lungfuls and she was able to pull back. Looking into his deep eyes she knew she could get lost in them. She always had. "Faith." His soft breath fanned over her face. His eyes were closing and he slowly leaned forward.

She didn't allow herself to think. She simply followed her emotions and leaned in. Their lips had barely touched when the buzzer on the dryer sounded making them jump and part quickly.

They exhaled heavily. "My clothes are dry." She stated lamely.

He nodded half confused about the situation and half aroused. He shouldn't want this. He was with Relena. But the feel of her arms around his neck and the weight of her in his lap was so familiar and connected to thousands of pleasant memories. Reluctantly, he released his hold on her allowing her scoot off his lap yet remain sitting beside him just as close. They said nothing.

Finally, Heero broke and pushed up to stand. "I'll go get your clothes." He couldn't turn back, half because he didn't trust himself to not jump her and pin her to the couch, and half because he couldn't bear to see the expression on her face. Rejection, longing…. love. If he saw any of those emotions he knew he was going to be in trouble.

Alone she stood putting the blanket back on the couch as it was. She walked to the mantle and found a small 4x6 picture of the entire team. They had been celebrating Christmas. Everyone was dressed to the nines for the Holiday Formal everyone holding champagne glasses and smiles so big they couldn't see. She had stood beside Heero proudly, his hand wrapped around her waist pulling her even closer to his side while she had one hand resting on his chest. That was one of the happiest moments in her life.

"They're still warm." Heero stated walking into the living room finding her holding the small photo. It was the only picture up that showed them together. Relena hadn't mentioned it so he left it up. "That was a good time." He recalled the events.

Nodding, she replaced the picture. "I don't think I'll ever forget it." She replied mostly to herself. Turning to him she took the clothes he had in his hands. "I'll be right back." She slid past him to head to the bathroom.

Heero, for the first time that evening was at a loss of what to do. He couldn't find a comfortable place to rest his hands. He shoved them in his pockets, they felt to restricted, her crossed his arms and felt too snug, he simply left them at his sides, fingers flexing and clenching. His emotions were muddled, where did he stand now with his current girlfriend and his ex. Lines that were once firm and resolute were now becoming blurred and transparent.

That wasn't a good sign. Walking into the kitchen with their wine glasses he picked up the dark bottle. There was only a bit left so he filled his glass and put the empty in the bin. Looking outside he noted that the downpour had stopped. The grass in the yard was shiny and reflected the bright moon that shone in the dark sky. She padded into the kitchen, the spare clothes folded neatly in a pile which she placed on the counter. "Here. Thank you."

He turned to her. She had pulled her hair back into a quick French plait and pulled on her boots and jacket. She looked ready to leave. That, tugged sharply at his heart.

"I... I should head out." She stuttered, voice soft and hesitant. "It's after midnight."

He checked his watch, she was right. It was nearer to 12:30. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day. Maybe they could both call in. "Stay." He more or less asked. "It's late and I can take us both to work tom-"

She shook her head. "No thank you. I-" She took a deep breath halting from telling him the truth. She couldn't do that. "I think it's best that I go home."

He couldn't exactly argue with her. She was right. It would look appallingly suspicious if they showed up together with her wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Neither of them needed that drama. "At least let me give you a ride home."

A small sad smile graced her lips. "You've been drinking. I'm a big girl, I'll make it home."

Damn it. She was right. He was a bit…. fuzzy. Maybe that was the reason for his recent feelings and thoughts. He would find out tomorrow. "I'll walk you out." He followed her lead to the door. Stopping with his hand on the door. "Are you sure you don't want to stay. I'll take the couch, you can-"

She stopped him with a soft kiss to the cheek. Letting her lips linger for a moment longer than necessary. His scent was all consuming in that moment. The clean smell of his shampoo, the ever present scent of gun oil and some dark spice soap he used. Without hesitation she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes again. "I'm sure. Thank you Heero. For everything." She murmured softly not wanting to let him go just yet. Memorizing the feel of his body pressed to hers, the strong muscles of his back flexing with each breath he took, his firm chest and stomach flush against hers. Her fingers tangling in the soft shaggy hair at the nape of his neck like she used to do. She would live this moment forever if she could.

Embracing her equally as tight, his hands acted of their own accord wrapping firmly around her waist, pulling her as close as possible. "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" He whispered not wanting to give voice to his foolish fear. He had a feeling, nagging at the furthest recesses of his mind that if he didn't hold her she would slip away, gone forever. That was ridiculous. He would see her tomorrow…. or later today as it was.

She said nothing but kissed his cheek again. "I love you." Her whisper so soft he hadn't heard her.

"What?" He pulled back.

"Nothing. Good night Heero." She pulled the door open and stepped out into the cool morning air walking swiftly down the steps and out to the sidewalk without a glance back. She couldn't let him see the tears that were quickly falling down her cheeks and blurring her vision. This time there was no rain for her tears to camouflage with.

He watched her round the corner before retreating inside. A feeling of loss settled over him, looking around the room he couldn't put his finger on it. Everything was as it had always been yet it felt as though there were a gaping hole in the room. Something was missing. Shutting off all the lights he took up position on the couch, not caring about anything at the moment except the empty resonating hollow that had opened in his chest. Pulling the blanket over him he drifted into sleep rather quickly. Letting his mind swarm with visions of a dark haired beauty.

****

"Hey Faith," Duo started, entering the small office she shared with another language specialist, Andrew. He saw no sign that she was there or had been there since yesterday. Her usually sparse desk seemed even more bare somehow. Something was missing.

Andrew looked up from his pile of papers. "She's not here. Haven't seen her all morning." He went back to his work.

Duo scratched his head. Huh. That' was weird. She was usually early for work. He had never known her to be late before. Shrugging he continued on his merry way whistling a happy tune on his way to the training course to see how the new recruits were doing.

Heero hated everything about today. The scowl on his face was so deep even Wufei didn't bust his chops for his hangover. Keeping his hat pulled down and his sunglasses tight to his eyes he inhaled the strong coffee in hand. He sat in the passenger seat beside the Chinese pilot, of the ATV that they used to run troops. His feet propped on the dash and wishing to whomever would listen to strike him dead and relieve the pounding in his head. Wine hangovers were the absolute worst.

"Hey, there's Maxwell." Wufei pointed at the braided man walking towards them.

Heero grunted and took a large drink from his thermos. "Run him over."

Wufei smirked almost letting out a chuckle. He drove over to their comrade, shouting to the recruits to hustle through their exercises. Heero groaned as they drove over the rugged terrain, each bump threatened to make him heave the meager contents of his stomach.

"Maxwell." Wufei greeted when they came to a halting stop, Heero almost spilling his elixir of life.

He growled. "I'd hurt you if I didn't already feel like dying myself." He threatened.

Duo chuckled. "The hell happened to you? You look like death warmed over?" He took in his friend's pale, and unkempt appearance. His shirt was undone at the top, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and his slacks looked like they hadn't seen an iron or dryer in a while. It wasn't unheard of that he would tie one on occasionally but he typically kept that for the weekend.

"A bottle of pinot noir happened." He pulled the ball cap tighter down to keep out the light.

Still chuckling Duo asked if either had seen Faith. He was supposed to ask her to Hilde's Sunday brunch thing. "Only I can't find her. She's not in the office and according to Andy he hasn't seen her all morning."

Heero's stomach dropped. The image of her walking down his steps and into the night flashed in his mind's eye. Pulling out his cell he tried her number. It had been disconnected. He tried her home number, also disconnected. Wufei and Duo watched their friend frantically try to get a hold of the missing agent.

"All her lines have been disconnected. We need to see Une Now." His hangover apparently gone, Heero barked the order. Duo jumped in the back as they rode to the main complex as fast as they could.

Bursting through the double doors, much to the protest of the commander's secretary, they demanded her attention. She was none to shocked to see them. She had known it was a matter of time before they figured something wasn't right. She had only hoped it would have been a few days.

"We have a missing agent, we need to assemble an unit to search for her. She was last seen wearing," Heero closed his eyes to remember, "Dark jeans, long sleeved dark shirt, preventer jacket and boots. Last seen at 12:30 A.M."

The other two stood there shocked. "How do you know that's when she went missing?" Wufei asked.

A heavy sigh left his lungs in a rush. "That was what time she left my house." He confessed.

"But I thought…."

"SHUT UP!" Une demanded attention. "Stephani, close the doors." She ordered her assistant.

With one last glare to the intruding officers she shut them firmly. "Now, Sit down."

"We don't have time for this,"

"Stand down agent." She ordered harshly.

Knowing better than to argue he sat in one of the chairs.

Une took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. How to start this conversation. She decided to play dumb. It might just buy her some time. "Who's 'missing'."

"Faith Summers, badge number 3056." Her former lover responded. His knee bouncing anxiously.

"Proof?"

Duo spoke up. "She's not here. She's always here on time or crazy early." He stated factually as if that were proof enough.

"All of her numbers have been disconnected." Heero answered.

Wufei decided to take a stab at what was going on. Very peculiar that the commander was shifting focus. "You know where she is." He stated.

Taking a long hard look at him, she despised him for still being able to read her so well. "Yes, I know where she is." Her voice became soft. Defeated almost. "She has decided to take up position on the Randardt case."

Stunned silence fell over the room. Heero's, heart dropped into his stomach. He had helped gather intelligence on that case. It was a suicide mission. Duo jaw almost hit the floor. He had only heard about the results of sending past agents in. The last, the most emotionally un-involved clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. To everyone's surprise it was Wufei who outburst first.

"Call her back! She'll get herself killed! How could you have-"

She jumped up, ready to defend her position. The only reason she was not ordering them all suspended was because of the background they had with said agent. Also because it would do no good. They would only use the time off to look for her. "Agent Summers had given substantial reason and shown her capabilities to complete this mission. She knows the risks and was willing to take them. As of 0500 this morning she went undercover, she no longer goes by that name and is our only undercover operative in the field at the moment. She will send correspondence when she is safe and I will keep you up to date as information comes in. This discussion, boys, stays in this office." She left no room for discussion.

Duo's eyes shined with unshed tears. "You let her walk into the lion's den like a pig for slaughter. If there is blood it will be on your hands." His voice broke with anger. Storming out of the room his mind swam. How was he going to tell Hilde? They were best friends. He considered her like family, like a little sister he never had. He needed space and time to process what had been done. He walked to the nearest church a few blocks away to sort out his thoughts and whisper in God's ear for the only favor he could remember asking.

Shaking his head, Wufei left the office as well. He hadn't worked with the new agent very long but they had enjoyed some interesting conversations. Particularly her views on the colonies and the past wars. She had even begun to learn self-defense from him. Sparring occasionally, looking back he now noticed how well she had improved over the last eight months of drills. Now, he knew why she was so adamant about learning from him. He hoped she would remember enough should she need to call upon her new skills. He sent a silent prayer to his deceased wife to watch over the agent.

Heero sat there silently. His heart was in his feet and he felt cold all over, deep into his bones. He hadn't felt this numb since the beginning of the war. It settled upon him like snow blanketing the ground. His mind wandered back to the previous evening. It all made sense now. The way she acted when he first found her on his doorstep, the guarded way she spoke to him and kept herself at a distance. The tears and the long embrace farewell. It explained why he thought she was saying goodbye, because she was. He should have known better and acted on his emotions. Had he known she was leaving he would have held her tighter. Hell, he would have kept her from making that flight, if he were being honest. He liked having her where he could keep an eye on her. Knowing she was safe and…. alive.

Une watched as the agent before her waged war with his emotions. She hadn't wanted to cause him more pain. The young man had been through enough. "Heero, she," What could she say? I think she'll be back? let's hope for the best? Nothing would help. Of that she was certain.

"She made her choice." His voice was empty, hollow and cold. He stood, keeping his eyes, which without a doubt were shining with emotion, down cast from meeting hers. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out. Out of the office, out of the building and wandered the streets.

Finding himself at the little cafe they would go to on the weekends he sat down and gave his order to the waiter. Ordering a coffee, hoping the caffeine would help with the last remnants of his hangover and stared at the hustle and bustle of people going about their day as if nothing was different. As if the world was as it had always been. Except his world had been completely turned upside down. He was lost, what did he do now? 'Please, come back to me. Stay safe.' He looked up to the sky wondering where she was now.

****

Seven months had gone by. The world returned to its natural ebb and flow. Spring melted into summer, summer drifted into fall and fall was slowly slipping into winter. The leaves had all fallen, leaving the trees bare and the ground colorful. The city didn't slow down, people went to work, children to school the world seemed to return to balance.

Not a word had been said about the sudden departure of their coworker and friend. Any agent who asked where she was, was told that she had been filling in at one of the agencies across the Atlantic. It was a "temporary" position with the possibility to become permanent. Once Quatre and Trowa had been filled in on the happenings they two expressed their sadness and anger. Quatre expressed his emotions more so than Trowa, the silent agent had become even more quiet. If that had been possible. His reaction to the news had rivaled 01's. The sadness at losing a friend no matter how long, knowing the potential outcome of such a mission for a relatively new agent was disheartening. He often found himself dialing her number in hopes that she would answer and let them know she was safe. So far there had been no news of her condition or where about.

Quatre had held a private conference with Une letting her know his opinion on the situation entirely. It had been the first time she had ever heard the usually calm and collected mogul use the F-word.

Now in the office of their commander, all these months later, they had all worked hard to get back to normal routine. Duo and Trowa sat on opposite ends of the couch, Wufei sat in the chair in front of her desk, Quatre displayed from his office on L4 and Heero, silent as ever reclined against the wall. Arms and ankles crossed, listening as the former OZ commander gave them the needed intel for the upcoming job. She was in the midst of explaining the subjects background when the buzzer of her intercom went off.

Irritation shone in her every movement when she informed her secretary that whatever it was could wait.

"No ma'am. This can't." The sweet polite voice was replaced with a fear. "You are going to want to see this."

"Very well." She sighed and paused the projection that was showing a man in a well-tailored suit walking down the street and entering a long black limousine.

Stephani, the girl who had been the commander's secretary for close to three years was visibly shaken as she carried a decent sized white box with a red ribbon tied around it like a Christmas package. "A homeless man just dropped this off. He said he had instructions and was paid by a woman to drop it off today, at this time, precisely."

The agents starred. They heard no ticking, no indication that it was armed with anything. Who would have sent such a package? Why now, today, at this time?

"Thank you Stephani." She dismissed her not wanting her around in case whatever it was hazardous. Once the doors closed, those present moved closer. No one said a word.

Une looked at the four gentleman, carefully standing where Quatre could see from the screen. He was just as anxious as the rest.

Carefully Duo reached for the ribbons end to undo the simple bow in the middle of the box. The red satin ribbon fell away quickly. It had been tied so tightly it was now able to relax. The air in the room was thick and heavy, the occupants almost afraid to breath, to shatter the uneasy silence.

Taking a silent pull of strength, Wufei removed the cover. The world stopped. Inside the box, on a bed of red and white tissue paper, was the preventer jacket of Faith Summers, badge number 3056, covered in dirt, blood and god knows what else. Jagged tears in the durable material were visible on the arms and the chest, the most disturbing wound that the jacket held however was one single bullet hole to the chest, near her stitched name badge. Right where her heart would have been. The fabric around it was darkened and stained with blood.

Duo sobbed openly. He tried to cut off the choking sound but couldn't hold back. He fought to stay up right slamming his fists onto the desk, tears pouring down his cheeks. Quatre too shed tears for the fallen agent. Wufei walked to the window, resisting every urge he had to put his fist through the wall, or the window. Something, he wanted something to hurt as much as he was in that moment.

Trowa ran his fingers over the garment that was worn by the woman he had grown to care for. She had been a good friend and confidant to him. Over the last few months, since Heero and Faith had called it quits he had grown to care for her. They had enjoyed each other's companionship during the first few rough months. He would often find her wiping away unwanted tears in the garden. He would say nothing just simply sit and listen if she chose to speak. He had taken her out for coffee a few times. They talked about books they had read and places they wanted to visit. Innocent and pure were those memories. He would hold them close to his heart for the rest of his life. He said nothing but turned and walked away. Ignoring the call from Quatre to come back. He needed time to process what he had lost. What they had all lost.

Heero was the one who took up the jacket from the box and held it up. She was gone. She had been wearing this when she died. She was an agent until the end. He hugged the jacket to him, trying in vain to remember how she had felt when he had held her before she left. How warm and alive she had been, the way her hair smelled and the feel of her lips on his cheek. As hard as he tried he couldn't remember. Carefully putting the jacket back in the box he looked at Une who was wiping her eyes. She couldn't meet his gaze, before he could go anywhere she opened her bio metric drawer pulling out three envelopes with the familiar last names.

"She…...asked me to give you these." She sniffed still trying to remain in control of her emotions. She put them on the desk leaving the offer to grab them or leave them.

Duo collected himself enough to stand and grab the letter before turning on heel and also exiting the office. He needed some time to collect his thoughts and emotions before telling his wife. She would need him to be strong for her. They had been best friends for years. Hilde had played a big part in introducing Heero and Faith, she was going to be crushed. He headed to his car where he allowed himself to break down completely.

Wufei grabbed his and stared at it. She had left him a letter? A letter he didn't want to read, if he were honest with himself and his feelings it felt like he had lost a small piece of himself. Never again would they spar in the training room in the basement. Never again would they speak of colonial issues and politics, he in some way felt as though he was losing his wife all over again. The female agent had managed to worm her way into his heart, behind his defenses without even knowing it. Now all that was left of her was a ruined jacket and a letter in a crisp white envelope.

Heero glared at the offending letter. He didn't want it. If he took it then it would be real. Maybe she wasn't dead, maybe it was a ploy, that she had only presented the jacket to throw someone off. He shook his thoughts away. That didn't make sense. They were the only ones who knew she was undercover. The letter was the last physical item he had of her. As much as he didn't want to take it he had to know what was in it. Grabbing the letter, he put it in his inner coat pocket so it would stay as protected and clean as it was now. Clearing the large lump in his throat he looked once more to his superior. Out of the corner of his eye he noted that Quatre had disconnected from the conference. He wanted to say something but the words were trapped in his throat. He didn't think they would offer any comfort anyway.

In the true Heero Yuy fashion he said nothing. Simply walked out the door, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes hard, daring anyone to confront him. He left the building and walked down the street blending in and losing himself against the sea of people downtown, disappearing from the world once more.

-FIN-


End file.
